The Manly Diaries
by Robyn-Enjolras
Summary: An assignment from English... explained further in the actual story summary. Basically, I wrote two journal entries from Mr Collins and Mr Darcy... They're pretty awesome if I do say so myself... :D R&R and if you like it I'll continue!
1. Zee Darcy

Hey y'all!  
So for English we had to pick a book for independent reading... so I picked _Pride and Prejudice_. (My teacher said Les Mis was too long... whatevs... I would've enjoyed reading it for the third time...) But anywhoodles... Our assignment was to right a reader response each week, and these two are what I submitted to my teacher. If lotsa people like this series, I will gladly continue! So yeah. Review. And like this. A lot. :D  


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Dear Journal,

So many overwhelming events have occurred in such a little time! First of all, I have been completely smitten with a Miss Elizabeth Bennet, a beautiful young girl who is extremely intelligent and witty than most other girls I have been around. She is also skilled at trying not to be the stereotypical young lady, who is well versed in literature, poetry, and the arts. Bingley's sister, Caroline, still tries to woo me with this technique, and she still does not understand that it puts me off. Elizabeth prefers to curl up and quietly engross herself in a book and get lost in it. But, Caroline... Don't even get me started! Every time I try to write a letter to my darling sister, she is always bound to be there, looking over my shoulder, making various remarks about how much she adores my handwriting, and every five seconds she asks me to tell her that she says hello to my sister. She just doesn't get it, and it is _so_ annoying! I am sure Elizabeth would never do that to me, she has a pretty little smart head on her shoulders. Elizabeth... I just can't bring myself to tell her how much I admire her... I suppose I have a reputation to uphold or something, I just can't let my feelings run rampant... Maybe one day, but until then, Elizabeth is, and will always be, the epitome of perfection...

Hm... what else has happened recently that is newsworthy...

Ah, yes! Today I just happened to run in to my former childhood friend, George Wickham, yesterday. Coincidentally, Elizabeth was there, too, and one of her sisters... I believe her name was Lydia, kept ruthlessly flirting with Mr. Wickham, but he did not seem to mind... Oh, how I hate that man...

Well, it appears as though I have to go, dear journal... I'll have to talk to you later.

Until then,

Fitzwilliam Darcy


	2. Mr Collins the Creepy Stalker

Dear Journal,

I can't believe it! How could she!

Miss Elizabeth Bennet is the most ungrateful, conniving, annoying, snotty... gorgeous... perfect...intelligent...proud, most rotten girl I ever met! How dare she not accept my proposal! At first, I thought she was kidding, but no. I also thought she was kidding and "pretending" not to like me or find me attractive. I mean, what's not to like? I have an awesome house, I get lots of money from Lady de Bourgh, I read, and _I'm a clergyman_! What could be better than being married to a clergyman, let alone a _rich _clergyman! That Elizabeth, she really made the wrong choice. So now I have to go marry her friend, Charlotte. I mean, Charlotte's nice and all, but _no one _compares to Elizabeth. I've heard Charlotte and her talk about that Mr Darcy fellow, and I've talked to him a couple times and I really don't get what they see in him. I mean, I'm the best person there is, right? Elizabeth... wow. I really wanted to know what she was thinking. Who could refuse _me_? I, the one and only Mr Collins! I can't believe Mrs Bennet just let her dump me like that. Maybe after Charlotte and I get married and move in together, Elizabeth will come and visit her often and... No, that won't work... But Lizzy would probably want to visit her best friend a lot, don't you think? Girls do that all the time. Or so I've heard. Not like I'm a creepy stalker or anything... dotdotdot...

Anyway, I guess I'll just have to make do with what I've got.

And by 'with what I've got' I mean Charlotte Lucas. Woo. (Please note the sarcasm...)

--

The Fabulous Mr Collins who is in no way a creepy stalker


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